2.06.2010

college

Things college has taught me: I'm drawn to the quiet kids.

I'm one of those people who unconsciously draws people who need to talk to myself. The amount of people who have poured out their hearts to me the first time I've ever talked to them and end the conversation with, "I've never told anyone that before" is insane. I've noticed this about myself since middle school, it's just how I'm made. Sometimes I love it, and sometimes I'm like, "WHY ME?! WHY are you telling ME all these intimate details about your life?!" I always thought I couldn't avoid this if I wanted to, that people would just tell me things no matter what I did.

Now. When I go to class on the first day and walk in the back of the room, the first thing I look for is any of my good friends. People I know well and know won't drive me insane to sit next to for the whole semester. If none of my friends are in that class, the next thing I involuntarily look for is a guy who looks like he's not going to reach out and talk to anyone unless I sit down next to him, thereby forcing him into conversation. It's usually always guys, not because I'm trying to pick them up, but because they're generally less complicated than girls. More willing to help you if you don't get something or miss a day, and all around just less dramatic.

This unconscious strategy has turned out to be great for me. In my law class, I sat down next to a kid named Brad. Brad was quiet, but he had friends who weren't, and I wound up on a debate team with all of them and we kicked butt. They explained things to me that I didn't get and I wound up enjoying the class. In Jazz History I found Alex, who quickly became one of my best friends. For Philosophy, it was Chase, a commuter who didn'tknow anyone and didn't talk to anyone else in that class all semester, but had things to tell me every single day. And this semester, it's Brian. He's in two of my classes, and he appears to be quiet. But once you get him talking, the kid is hilarious. We keep each other laughing through Finance and Accounting. It rocks.

Through this, I've realized that while people are drawn to me -- I'm also drawn to them. The kids who are quiet but have something to say, and I unconsciously set up a situation that makes them feel comfortable talking. And I could probably avoid it. But that would involve me not talking...and I don't think that'll be happening anytime soon.

No comments:

Post a Comment