two

Part Two.
 
"We were crushed and overwhelmed...and saw how powerless we were to help ourselves; but that was good, for then we put everything into the hands of God, who alone could save us...and he did help us!"
- 2 Corinthians 1:8-10

Right along with having a hard time remembering that I am the worst of sinners, I have a hard time remembering to depend on God when things are good in my world.  When I'm doing well and loving my classes in school, when I have a job secured for after graduation that pays my rent and includes all the things that I am passionate about with a boss who can finish my sentences, when I'm in love and so are all the people who matter to me.  In those situations, I sometimes forget how much I need God.  I forget that depending on him in the high times prepares me better to deal with the low times.

I start focusing on my plans for my life and lose sight of what he wants for me and trick myself into believing that it's okay, that my plans are good.  And then something happens to change my plans and I struggle to let them go.  Despite knowing that God let my plans crumble to bring me back to his plan, a plan I know is far greater than mine, I feel broken and frustrated and am hurt because my own plans failed.  I could save myself so much heartache if I would just keep my eyes on him and HIS plan for my life.

But still, after my plans fall apart, I come to a point where I finally really, truly believe it's a good thing.
"...it was the best thing that could have happened to me, for it taught me to pay attention to your laws."
-- Psalm 119:17