A while ago I sang this song in church...and it makes me happy. But before it makes me happy, it breaks me down. It's what all the Jesus songs that I love do. They point out exactly what I'm doing wrong -- but because they do, and by the grace of God, I am able to change that. I'm able to fix it. Often times only temporarily until God points out once again how quickly I can rely on myself instead of Him, but slowly, I am learning.
I'm a girl who likes to plan. I have plans for my life, and when something changes those plans, I am not happy. I forget all about things happening because God wants them to, and I get swept up in MY plans for MY life...and even though I know without a doubt that God's plans are better, I'm angry that my plans are being changed.
It's ridiculous. It's like having a flashlight in a pitch black cave and choosing not to turn it on because I think I'm better off without it.
It's also why this song make me happy. Because when I'm relying on myself, I feel lost. But when I remember that I shouldn't be, that I should be letting go of all the things I let get inbetween me and God, and I make Him number one in my life again? Things are so much easier.
So I'm presenting this as a challenge, to me and to you. Go read those words again. What's getting in between you and God? Your pride? Your selfishness? Thinking that you know where your life should go and what you should be doing in every decision better than He does? Someone or something else? Whatever it is...just let it go. There's no way it can possibly be better than what God has created you specifically for.
"I know how I can stray,
and how fast my heart could change.
Empty me of this selfishness inside,
every vain ambitition and the poison of my pride.
And every foolish things my heart holds to,
Lord empty me of me so I can be filled with You."
--Empty Me, Chris Sligh